SHOCK CLAIM: Jesus was a SHAPE-SHIFTER and could take any form, ancient Egyptian texts say

Two separate texts were discovered, now being held in the Morgan Library and Museum in New York City and the other at the Museum of the University of Pennsylvania, which have recently been deciphered in the past few years.

Texts that date back some 1,200 years and written in the Coptic language – a form of Egyptian – describes how Pontius Pilate had dinner with Jesus the night before his crucifixion and supposedly offered his son to be condemned to death in place of the Messiah.

However, more peculiarly, the text describes how the authorities asked Judas to kiss Jesus to identify him because he had the ability to shape-shift.

Part of the text reads: “Without further ado, Pilate prepared a table and he ate with Jesus on the fifth day of the week. And Jesus blessed Pilate and his whole house.”

The Roman, who is considered a Saint in Captic churches which would explain the favourable view of him, then tells Jesus: “Well then, behold, the night has come, rise and withdraw, and when the morning comes and they accuse me because of you, I shall give them the only son I have so that they can kill him in your place.”

To which Jesus responds: “Oh Pilate, you have been deemed worthy of a great grace because you have shown a good disposition to me.” 

Jesus then supposedly showed Pilate that he can escape if he chose to by shape-shifting.

The text reads: “Pilate, then, looked at Jesus and, behold, he became incorporeal: He did not see him for a long time.”

The text also describes Judas’ betrayal of Jesus: “Then the Jews said to Judas: ‘How shall we arrest him (Jesus)? For he does not have a single shape but his appearance changes. Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red, sometimes he is wheat coloured, sometimes he is pallid like ascetics, sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old man’.”

However, historians believe that it is unlikely that anyone took the text as truthful.

Roelof van den Broek, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands, told Live Science that the author probably did not even believe it.

He said: “I find it difficult to believe that he really did, but some details, for instance the meal with Jesus, he may have believed to have really happened. 

“The people of that time, even if they were well-educated, did not have a critical historical attitude. Miracles were quite possible, and why should an old story not be true?”

This Giant Dead Sea Creature Washed Up On An Island, And It’s Freaking Everyone Out

Images posted online of an enormous carcass that washed up on the shore of an Indonesian island are captivating people across the world.

The Jakarta Globe calls the massive, rotting body a giant squid, and reports that a resident of Seram Island discovered the 49-foot dead creature on Tuesday.

But three marine experts told HuffPost that the animal actually appears to be some sort of baleen whale.

YouTube/Patasiwa Kumbang Amalatu

Some shots show what appears to be a spine.

YouTube/Patasiwa Kumbang Amalatu

The material seen to the left resembles the baleen seen in whales that filter-feed.

“Giant squid are invertebrates and there are clearly bones visible (jaw, skull, vertebrate) so I am very comfortable saying it’s some type of rorqual whale,” said Regina Asmutis-Silvia, executive director of Whale and Dolphin Conservation.

“Certain species of baleen whales (rorquals) have ‘ventral grooves’ which run from their chin to their belly button. It is stretchy tissue that expands when they feed,” she added.

She identified these grooves in images and also included photos in which she pointed to what she believes are the whale’s jaw bone and skull.

Regina Asmutis-Silvia

Regina Asmutis-Silvia

Edith Widder, CEO and senior scientist at the Ocean Research & Conservation Association, said it was difficult to determine from images alone but that some photos show what looks like baleen plates.

“My guess is it’s a baleen whale,” she said.

George Leonard, chief scientist at Ocean Conservancy, said he initially thought the animal might be a giant squid, but agreed it was likely a whale after seeing images highlighting the bones and baleen.

“Trying to identify huge ocean creatures half a [world] away from a grainy video is tough to do; but once people start sharing specific information that begins to narrow in on defining characteristics of the creature, the identity begins to come into focus,” he said.

Footage from the scene shows the decaying body turning the water around it a deep red.

Locals have asked the government to come and help them remove the body, the Globe reports.

In the meantime, we’ll leave you with an apt tweet about this real-life Kraken.

This story has been updated with comments from marine life experts.

Michelle Obama expertly blasts Trump without even mentioning his name

Former First Lady Michelle Obama took Trump down a peg without mentioning his name.
Former First Lady Michelle Obama took Trump down a peg without mentioning his name.

Image: Alex Wong/Getty Images

Former first lady Michelle Obama was back on stage doing what she’s known to do: talking about childhood obesity and making Americans healthier. But this talk had some bite to it.

Naturally, the recent decision by Donald Trump’s administration to not push forward with federal rules to make school lunches healthier — something Obama championed for hard with her “Let’s Move” initiative during her eight years in the White House — was brought up.

Obama had some tough words at the Partnership for Healthier America Summit in Washington, D.C. Friday. Without mentioning Trump by name or singling out the U.S. Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue who announced his plan to “make school lunches great again” earlier this month, Obama made her very clear what she thought of the president and his administration’s move.

She implored parents to “stop and think, ‘Why don’t you want our kids to have good food at school? What is wrong with you and why is that a partisan issue?'”

She went on to directly address moms: “Moms, think about this. I don’t care what state you live in, take me out of the equation, like me, don’t like me, but think about why someone is OK with your kids eating crap,” she said.

Perdue wants to restore local control over whole grains, sodium, and types of milk used in lunches, making it harder to require certain nutritional guidelines.

Obama was quick to point out that this might make lunches tastier, but in the long run it’s not as healthy. Lunches should be about our kids well-being, not politics, she said.

And we know she means business — she said “crap.” 

The Associated Press contributed reporting.

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‘Rent’ the musical will be performed live on TV, and will you light my candle?

Will you light my candle?
Will you light my candle?

Image: Carol Rosegg/Broadway Across America via Getty Image

Five-hundred twenty-five thousand six-hundred minutes, how do you measure a  — live musical television event?

The latest live event for the small screen on Fox is the long-running Broadway musical Rent, Variety reported Friday. 

You might know the musical, created by the deceased Jonathan Larson, for its earworm “Seasons of Love” (it’s the song that breaks down the number of minutes in a year, along with cups of coffee, sunsets, and most importantly, love). Or from its 2015 film adaption starring Rosario Dawson, Idina Menzel, Taye Diggs, and others from the original Broadway cast. 

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The dark rock musical focuses on New York artists struggling to survive with drug addictions and HIV/AIDS and is based on Puccini’s opera, “La Boheme.” The live adaption has a slate of producers attached to it, according to Variety, but no word yet on who will play Mark, Roger, Mimi, Maureen, and the other colorful characters.

"Rent" on stage. Now it's coming to your TV.

“Rent” on stage. Now it’s coming to your TV.

Image: Carol Rosegg/Broadway Across America via Getty Images

Fox put on a live production of “Grease” last year, another play-turned-movie-turned-live TV event, but no word on when “Rent” will happen.

The live show was one of many live adaptation announcements Friday. Other live adaptations on various networks include Fox’s “A Christmas Story,” NBC’s “Jesus Christ Superstar” for Easter 2018, “A Few Good Men,” and “Bye Bye Birdie.”

Hopefully “Rent” will be blasting from our TVs within 525,600 minutes.

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9 of the best British films you’ve never seen

Fair warning: when I started this list I wasn’t planning to fill it solely with dark and depressing films, but that’s definitely what’s ended up happening.

It might be that I’ve always been drawn to films with challenging subject matters, or it might be that British directors are just really damn good at making realistically gritty movies.

Either way, the nine films below aren’t always easy to watch. They are very good though and you totally should watch them — you just might need to be in the right mood.

1. This is England

Stephen Graham puts in an impressively  scary performance as Combo in 'This is England'.

Stephen Graham puts in an impressively  scary performance as Combo in ‘This is England’.

Image: optimum releasing

What’s it about?

A young boy who gets caught up with a gang of racist skinheads in the early ’80s.

Why should you watch it?

Shane Meadows is arguably one of the best British directors out there at the moment, and This is England is one of his finest films. The dialogue is gritty and realistic, Danny Cohen’s cinematography is on-point, and the whole thing just seems to encapsulate the era in which it’s set. Also, if you do enjoy it, Meadows has made a bunch of TV sequels that follow the same group of characters later in the decade.

Watch the trailer:

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2. Dead Man’s Shoes

Richard and Anthony heading back home in one of the film's opening shots.

Richard and Anthony heading back home in one of the film’s opening shots.

Image: optimum releasing

What’s it about?

A man wreaks (a very violent) revenge on the men who tormented his younger brother while he was away in the army.

Why should you watch it?

Shane Meadows again, this time with a very bleak (but extremely tense and well acted) thriller. Paddy Considine plays the main character Richard with a blank-eyed intensity that fills all of his scenes with a kind of lurking menace, and the spare dialogue adds a grim element of realism to the whole thing.

Watch the trailer:

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3. We Need to Talk About Kevin

Ezra Miller as the exceedingly creepy Kevin.

Ezra Miller as the exceedingly creepy Kevin.

Image: artificial eye

What’s it about?

A woman struggles to cope with life in the aftermath of a horrendous crime committed by her son.

Why should you watch it it?

We Need to Talk About Kevin wasn’t Ezra Miller’s first film (he’d already been in a handful of movies and appeared as a returning character in Californication by that point), but it was probably the one that really accelerated his career. It’s not hard to see why, either. He’s impressively creepy as Kevin, acting as a mysterious focal point for the film’s dark subject matter. Tilda Swinton is equally great as his troubled mother, and the film is shot beautifully by Scottish director Lynne Ramsay.

Watch the trailer:

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4. Fish Tank

Be warned, Fassbender fans: Michael does not play a nice guy in this film.

Be warned, Fassbender fans: Michael does not play a nice guy in this film.

Image: artificial eye

What’s it about?

How the life of a 15-year-old girl is suddenly turned upside-down when her mum gets a new boyfriend.

Why should you watch it?

Before Michael Fassbender had rocketed to his current magnetic levels of X-Men fame, he was appearing in awesome independent films like this one. And it really is an awesome film. The subject matter is dark and it’s often uncomfortable to watch, but the acting is flawless and Andrea Arnold’s dialogue and direction are absolutely spot on.

Watch the trailer:

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5. Wuthering Heights

Solomon Glave is excellent as a young Heathcliff in 'Wuthering Heights'.

Solomon Glave is excellent as a young Heathcliff in ‘Wuthering Heights’.

Image: artificial eye

What’s it about?

It’s an adaptation of the 1847 novel by Emily Brontë, which tells the story of a homeless boy’s turbulent relationship with the daughter of the man who takes him in.

Why should you watch it?

Andrea Arnold’s adaptation of Wuthering Heights isn’t a perfect film, but the cinematography and the sound mixing are perfect. The sights and sounds of the moor are infused with so much life and movement that the landscape almost becomes a character in its own right.

Watch the trailer:

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6. Kill List

Nothing says 'creepy' quite like a woman in a white dress waving slowly at you from a dark roadside.

Nothing says ‘creepy’ quite like a woman in a white dress waving slowly at you from a dark roadside.

Image: optimum releasing

What’s it about?

Two former soldiers are hired to kill three seemingly unconnected people for reasons that aren’t clear. As their mission progresses, though, weird stuff starts to happen.

Why should you watch it?

Kill List is a really fun blend of thriller, horror, and mystery that swings unpredictably between tense and — occasionally — borderline-farcical. Somehow it gets away with it, though. Without wanting to give too much away, you spend the first three quarters of the film wondering what the hell is going on, and the last quarter wondering what the hell you’re watching.

Watch the trailer:

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7. Tyrannosaur

Olivia Colman is stunning in 'Tyrannosaur'.

Olivia Colman is stunning in ‘Tyrannosaur’.

Image: optimum releasing

What’s it about?

An angry widower becomes friends with a charity shop worker trapped in an abusive relationship.

Why should you watch it?

Most of the films on this list are challenging or uncomfortable to watch in some way, but Tyrannosaur is one you really need to brace yourself for. The themes of anger, violence, and domestic abuse are examined with such a blunt realism by writer/director Paddy Considine (yep, the main guy from Dead Man’s Shoes) that the film is very, very tough going in places. So why should you watch it? Well the acting is incredible (especially the always-brilliant Olivia Colman), and despite some critics labelling it “poverty porn”, I’d argue the film takes a close and challenging look at some important issues.

Watch the trailer:

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8. The Selfish Giant

The cinematography is just one reason to watch 'The Selfish Giant'.

The cinematography is just one reason to watch ‘The Selfish Giant’.

Image: film4

What’s it about?

A scrap dealer who uses two troubled teenage boys to help him make money (it’s also a retelling of an Oscar Wilde story).

Why should you watch it?

As you’ve probably guessed this is another fairly dark one, but it’s also a moving story about childhood friendship and a comment on the way society treats teenagers who get labelled “difficult”. It’s also beautifully, beautifully shot.

Watch the trailer:

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9. Shallow Grave

Ewan McGregor was still in his early twenties when this one came out.

Ewan McGregor was still in his early twenties when this one came out.

Image: polygram filmed entertainment

What’s it about?

Three flatmates let their spare room to a stranger who abruptly dies, leaving them with a full suitcase of money. They decide to keep the cash and dispose of the body, and disaster ensues.

Why should you watch it?

You’ve probably heard of Scottish director Danny Boyle (and if not you’ll almost certainly have heard of Trainspotting, which is probably his best-known film), but you might not be familiar with his earlier work. He made Shallow Grave two years before Trainspotting, and while it’s not quite on that same cult level it’s still a really fun watch. The plot is a little like the start of a Coen Brothers’ film, and the story really gets into its stride in the third act, when the main characters’ friendships start to unravel (Christopher Eccleston does an excellent job of morphing from shy and nerdy to creepy and intense).

Watch the trailer:

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Huge rotting sea creature that washed ashore is horrifyingly turning the water red

Image: Pattimura military command/Facebook

Something has washed up on the shore of an Indonesian island. It’s huge, it’s floating — and it’s rotting.

A large 15m (49.2 ft) long sea creature was discovered off Hulung Beach, on Seram Island, Indonesia.

The creature was discovered by 37-year-old local resident Asrul Tuanakota, reports the Jakarta Globe.

Tuanakota initially mistook the huge blob for a stranded boat. 

Photos and videos of the sea creature have gone viral, and its identity has stumped many locals. People have speculated that it could be a giant squid, or a sperm whale.

Giant squid can grow up till 13m (42 ft) long, while sperm whales average 16m (52 ft) in length.

Several videos posted by a local villager show the sea creature slowly disintegrating in the water, turning it a dark red: 

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A group of marine scientists were reportedly scheduled to take samples of the creature on Thursday, according to Detik. Residents have since flocked to see the giant carcass, which was estimated to have died more than three days ago.

A local military command is keeping watch on the carcass, while residents have asked authorities to help remove the remains so it doesn’t contaminate the surrounding area.

Expert: It’s a baleen whale

Marcus Chua, a museum officer at the Lee Kong Chian Natural History Museum told Mashable that the carcass appears to be that of a baleen whale, a subgroup of whales that include humpback whales and minke whales.

“[Based] on the images and videos, in the advanced stage of decomposition it is not possible to determine whether that is a humpback whale or not,” Chua, who is also a curator of mammals and birds at the National University of Singapore-affiliated museum, added.

The carcass is unlikely to be a giant squid, as there has been no record of giant squid from Indonesian waters, he added.

When large sea creatures like humpback whales die, they end up floating around at sea, and may be eaten by scavengers like sharks.

“Those that hit the shores either decompose along beaches, or may be removed by humans if they are perceived to be a health hazard or for scientific research,” Chua said.

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‘We’re not alone’ Aliens ALREADY on Earth but there’s a huge cover-up, scientist claims

Stanton Friedman, a nuclear physicist, who worked on classified projects for for US defence contractors across 14 years in the 1950s and 1960s, believes the truth about a global cover up over the existence of aliens will soon be exposed, and it will have a positive effect on the world.

Mr Friedman, who has investigated the UFO mystery for more than 50 years and was the first civilian investigator of the infamous 1947 Roswell UFO crash unsolved case, revealed his thoughts in a new book compiled by author Miguel Mendonca.

The book, called We Are the Disclosure – Part I, tells the stories of a string of campaigners fighting for an alleged “truth embargo” on the existence of aliens to be lifted.

Mr Friedman, although never witnessing a UFO himself, said he was convinced we are not alone.

He said: “There’s an enormous amount of evidence from all over the world from respectable, responsible individuals whose testimony you’d accept about anything else.

“We’re not alone and that bothers the heck out of some people, some religious people.

“Some of the fundamentalists have explained that the only place in the universe where there are thinking, communicating people is right here on Earth, and that this UFO stuff is the work of the devil.

“And that the Earth was created in 4004 BC.

“Sorry guys all those things are wrong.”

He said the subject had been surprised through ridicule by agencies such as the CIA.

He said: “(This) was established by the Robertson Panel report done for the CIA back in 1953.

“They recommended the use of all the tools of propaganda, including Walt Disney and so forth, to persuade people that aliens are not visiting.

“So there has been a concentrated effort on that.”

But he believes although the authorities have tried to suppress the subject, more people are starting to break rank and talk.

He added: “I’ve certainly seen some evidence of more people being willing to talk – maybe because they are getting older, maybe because they watch television and recognise that they have friends who have had sightings.”

He said an organisation called the National Aviation Reporting Center on Anomalous Phenomena (NARCAP) also allowed pilots, who are fearful of losing their jobs if they go on record about UFOs, meant they could now anonymously log details of their sightings.

Mr Friedman added: “They’ve collected thousands of reports, and many of them we probably wouldn’t have known about, as pilots have to worry about losing their jobs.

“I’m an optimist, I see things changing.

“I see people being much more willing to hold their heads up.”

Conspiracy theorists claim the US Government is aware aliens have visited Earth, but have put in place a “truth embargo” to prevent it getting out to the public.

Disclosure activists, such as Steve Bassett, head of Paradigm Research Group, campaign for the embargo to be lifted.

Earlier this month Express.co.uk revealed how Mr Bassett believes that disclosure could be imminent after the CIA put thousands of formerly classified files, including stuff on UFOs, on its website.

Family’s horror as ‘possessed doll moves on its OWN and scratches children in the night’

The Peruvian family claim they are living a nightmare in their own house because of the doll they say is possessed and causing paranormal activities to occur.

The story of the Nunez family, who live in El Callao, Peru, has gone viral on social media after they featured in TV programme De Pelicula about their lives since the arrival of the blonde doll called Sarita.

They said that they usually see strange lights and hear weird noises in the house, and bizarre scratches appear on their children.

The doll was given to the family by the nephew of Ivonne, the mother of the family.

The blue-eyed doll has been dubbed the ‘Peruvian Anabelle’ by netizens and the family cannot explain how the doll apparently moves around the house on its own. 

Ivonne and her three children claim that during the night they leave the doll in a corner of a room, but in the morning, she has moved to the table or sitting on the furniture.

And when pushed, the doll reportedly makes a sound as if she is praying. 

They also said that she starts doing this sometimes without anyone touching her.

One of the children, named Steven, 18, said that he usually wakes up with bruises and scratches for unknown reasons.

He said: “Last week I woke up with scratches on my neck and on my back.”

His sister, Angie, 20, claims she often hears strange noises in the middle of the night, like knocking on the door or the wardrobe three times, but there is no one there.

She said: “Every night I feel as though somebody is looking at me from the corner of the room.”

The family decided to ask a medium to investigate the case and contacted “angel expert” Soralla de los Angeles, who visited their house.

She cleaned the house and dozens of strange lights like circles allegedly appeared there. 

Soralla also walked around the house during the ritual and claimed to have detected the presence of a mysterious woman in one of the rooms.

According to Ivonne, this woman must be her sister-in-law, who killed herself in that exact spot.

The angel expert also said that she felt an evil presence inside the doll that wants to hurt the family.

She did a cleansing ritual in order to protect the house and to make spirits leave and left seven candles in the living room.

However, the show did not explain why the family had not just got rid of the doll.

Alien abduction? Unsolved mystery of man ‘who disappeared into space’ after building UFO

Granger Taylor vanished from his parents’ home at Duncan, on Vancouver Island, British Colombia, Canada, without a trace at the age of 32 in 1980.

It remains one of the most bizarre unsolved missing persons cases on record.

Granger was a talented mechanic, who dropped out of high school early but was able to build a one-cylinder automobile at just 14.

His most memorable project was constructing a UFO-like shelter from two satellite dishes that he fitted with furniture, a TV and a stove.

But his fascination with the possibility of alien visitations became more serious when he alleged to experience constant contact from alien beings who promised to take him to their world.

On a stormy night on November 29, 1980, he left a bizarre note for his parents Jim and Grace Taylor, and was never seen again.

The note was left in a barn on the property where he was working on a number of projects.

It read: “Dear Mother and Father, I have gone away to walk aboard an alien ship, as recurring dreams assured a 42 month interstellar voyage to explore the vast universe, then return. 

“I am leaving behind all my possessions to you as I will no longer require the use of any. 

“Please use the instructions in my will as a guide to help. Love, Granger.”

On the back was a map of Waterloo Mountain, 20 miles to the west of the Taylor property, while his 1972 Datsun pick-up truck was gone.

A huge search was launched by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) for around four years, but no trace of him or the car were ever found.

Hospital, passport, employment, and vehicle records were checked to no avail.

His parents did not give up hope of his return and left the back door open each night, but he never showed up.

They also kept the UFO there, along with his other creations, just as he left them.

Dad Jim is quoted as saying years later: “I can hardly believe Granger’s off in a spaceship, but if there is a flying object out there, he’s the one to find it.”

The tale is often retold on alien conspiracy theory websites as alleged evidence of an alien abduction.

The reports all state that no trace of him was ever found.

But, the March 31 edition of the Montreal Gazette in 1986, five-and-a-half-years after the disappearance, said two pieces of bone that could have been Granger Taylor’s, and parts of what was believed to be his truck, had been found in a dynamite blast site on Mount Prevost.

The report said Granger had taken dynamite from his parents’ home on the night and the blast site was just four miles from the property.

The report said: “Two pieces of bone were found at the blast site and a pathologist confirmed they are human.

“Until further evidence is found, the RCMP is assuming they are Taylor’s.”

It is not known if it was later confirmed they were his bones.

According to UFO folklore, Granger Taylor was never seen again.

‘Avocado Hand’ Is Real And It Can Land You In The Emergency Room

Hold on to your toast, brunch lovers. This news will guac you to your core.

After an uptick in avocado cutting injuries ― referred to as “avocado hand” by doctors ― the British Association of Plastic Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons is helping warn people to be extra careful when slicing the oh-so-instagrammable fruit.  

This “global phenomenon” can happen if a person doesn’t realize how ripe their avocado is when cutting through it, Simon Eccles, BAPRAS secretary and former president of the plastic surgery section of the Royal Society of Medicine, told The Times of London.  

Accidentally slicing yourself instead of your avocado can cause serious damage to nerves and tendons in the hand, with some patients reportedly never regaining full use of their hand. Eccles said he treats about four patients a week for avocado hand and his hospital even experiences a “post-brunch surge” on Saturdays. 

Contrary to some reports, BAPRAS has not specifically called for safety labels on avocados, the organization told HuffPost. But they are “alerting people to the potential risk of hurting oneself when preparing an avocado,” and recommend folks are especially careful when trying to remove avocado pits.

Not even superhuman Meryl Streep is safe from this scourge. She was seen wearing a bandage after falling victim to avocado hand in 2012, and reportedly had to get stitches before undergoing surgery as a result of her injury.  

Charles Eshelman via Getty Images

Avocado hand comes for us all. 

There’s no shortage of “you’re cutting avocados wrong” fodder out there, but this warning from BAPRAS is one we can get behind. After all, the emergency room doesn’t seem like the most ideal place to rack up likes for that gorgeous avocado toast.

We wonder how staff have fared at Brooklyn’s all-avocado restaurant. If nothing else, this might be a good reason to take a break from good old ‘cados. They are at their highest price point in 19 years